Bones S05E09

First of all, I would like to thank the writers of today's episode for copious amounts of fan service. Bones undressing Booth may have been a little hard to justify, but - "I should warn you, he's very hard to resist."

On a more serious note, I'd like to draw attention to the theme of the episode - namely, why people hate to be alone at Christmas. Max claims that it's "because it means that nobody loves you." An oversimplification, perhaps, but not too far from the truth. The truth is that the holidays are billed as a time to be with the people who mean the most to you. Whether or not someone actually spends this time with those people, the expectation means that being excluded from a loved one's holiday plans can sting terribly. Being alone at Christmas then doesn't literally mean that nobody loves you, but it feels as though, to each of the people most important to you, someone else matters more.

Bones S05E08

The comparison of the relative merits of quality and quantity was haunting dear Sweets after Fisher shared his Casanovic number of conquests. According to my extensive research on the subject (which could also be described as talking to a few friends and extrapolating), this is a not uncommon problem for serial monogamists. The real fear is that quantity of partners has a direct impact on quality of sex for the current partner. This may manifest as regret that past opportunities were missed, or contemplation of going elsewhere, likely behind the back of one's current partner, to improve one's technical skills. The reality of the situation is that a vast number of different partners, while it may be desirable for men from an evolutionist's standpoint, is not going to directly improve anyone's in-bed manner. There are numerous resources available demonstrating various techniques, but the most efficient and effective way to increase your partner's sexual pleasure is improving communication.

Sweets shouldn't be feeling jealous of Fisher (really, REALLY shouldn't), he should be asking Daisy what works for her. Although from the sounds of it... that's probably not a problem.

House S06E09

This episode dealt with the issue of doctors treating friends, clearly demonstrating why it doesn't usually happen. It's impossible to be appropriately objective about anyone you have a personal relationship. Furthermore, even if you can identify problems accurately, it can be difficult and even painful (even more than usual) to deliver bad news. There is even the possibility of a friend asking you to break rules or laws for them, leaving you in a very awkward position (Vicodin, anyone?).

Although the consequences of doctors mixing the personal and professional can clearly be devastating, the same idea applies, to some degree, to any position of authority. It can be difficult to teach a family member a new skill, for example, for fear that corrections to technique will be taken as personal criticisms. Similarly, being a friend's boss can put a strain on the friendship. Performance reviews, the use of sick days... sometimes it's easier not to know all the details of a co-worker's life.

In any case, Wilson's refusal to believe cancer was the cause of his friend's new symptoms shows that sometimes a little distance is necessary to see things clearly and do what has to be done.

NCIS S07E09

Poor Ducky took me right back to the subject of last week's Bones when he said of his mother that, "She barely recognizes me when I visit." It hurts terribly when that happens. It can be particularly difficult to have lost or be losing a loved one when a holiday rolls around, because holidays are built on tradition and memories, just the things to make you miss him or her more. And so Ducky is desperate to fill up his Thanksgiving with the other people in his life, to create new traditions that might help ease the pain of old traditions fading.

This idea of actively creating new traditions to cope with the loss of old ones is new to me and somewhat overwhelming, but I hope it will prove useful and worthwhile this holiday season.

House S06E08

Throughout history, intelligence has arguably been one of the most divisive traits humans exhibit. On a gross scale, you have highly intelligent people looking down on less intelligent people for failing to think critically and acting like sheep, while less intelligent people look down on highly intelligent people for causing trouble and acting superior. I must say, though, the less intelligent seem to have the advantage of numbers. And it isn't just the two extremes battling it out. In the metaphorical locker rooms of schools for the "gifted," the numbers being jealously compared are not inches, they're IQ points and grade scores. It's especially lonely at the top, where the socially awkward don't often manage to stand in solidarity.

It's no wonder, then, that the genius in this episode of House liked living without the pressures of intelligence. As House explained to the man's wife, "He's smart compared to you. He's a moron compared to what he was." This couple managed to make it work despite a significant intelligence gap, but only so long as that gap was artificially minimized by the young physicist's drug use.

It can be incredibly difficult for people at opposite ends of the intelligence spectrum to get along. Brains that function so differently can't always communicate with each other. People with high IQs often find it frustrating to slow their thought processes enough to be understood, and may leave out important information because they assume it's obvious. People with low IQs, on the other hand, can get understandably upset by the rude treatment they sometimes receive if they don't immediately grasp what they're being told.

The only reasonable solution, as things stand, is for everyone to learn to be a little more patient.

Bones S05E07

I don't feel up to tackling the really big problem - the pain when someone who used to look after you needs you to look after them - from tonight's episode, but that's okay, because I think the episode itself handled that beautifully. There are a couple of lesser things worth noting, though.

Nicknames. It may seem trivial, but what someone is called, and the motivation behind the tag, can have a significant impact on the way someone feels. Nicknames can spark a feeling of warmth, comfort, and perhaps nostalgia as well if they're old nicknames. Perhaps it's something a parent called you when you were a child and they were playing with you. Hearing the nickname used can bring happy memories flooding back. It works the other way, too, though. If someone calls you by a nickname that the school bully used, you may feel fear or nausea. Whether good or bad, the way you're addressed can have a strong impact on your mood.

The other thing that struck me in this episode was a quote from Booth's grandfather: "He's big and strong, but he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone." I thought this was beautiful. It doesn't matter if someone's strong and can look after him or herself, they still need support. Everyone does. That means it's not a weakness to ask for help, or to want to be held. Everyone does.

NCIS S07E08

The real baddie in this episode was a power outage. And while it was entertaining (as it was supposed to be) to watch the team flail helplessly when they first found themselves... well... powerless... it also left me wondering (again, no doubt, as it was supposed to), why on earth are we so dependent on electricity? Power outages are not uncommon, and they can be absolutely devastating when they happen. So why are we, in the developed world, not better equipped to cope with them?

Unfortunately, that is a question I have no good answer for, but it does bear thinking about.

There was one other thing worth mentioning, a Gibbs-ism that put me in quite the reflective state. "She had a choice. That's what makes her a hero." Incredibly poignant, quite true, and again... it bears thinking about. Making the difficult decision can definitely make you a hero. Maybe in the eyes of one person, or maybe in the eyes of the world - the point is that choosing to protect the vulnerable, the choiceless, is what makes a hero.

House S06E07

Tonight's episode of House conveniently gave me the opportunity to rant on one of my favourite rant-topics.

"Sex is mechanical. Emotion is emotional."

Now, let me say first that I have no problems with porn stars, escorts, fetish models, or any other sex workers. There is a market for what they do, and believe it or not many of them are doing sex work because they want to, not because they're addicts, slaves, or otherwise victims. The people who are forced into sex work represent an entirely separate issue, and right now I'm just talking about those in the industry voluntarily. With that out of the way, let me address the claim that sex work (in this case porn) involves divorcing sex from emotion. In short, I do not believe that is possible.

Emotion is driven by physical triggers. To start with, there is sheer physical proximity. Most people have some notion of "personal space," and would prefer not be touched by someone they're not comfortable with. In fact, most of us don't even want to be near somebody we don't like. Sexual congress is thus, to the reasonable person, an emotionally intimate activity because it is so very physically intimate. This isn't to say one has to be in love (however you define that) with a person you have sex with, but if you dislike them, the psychological repercussions can be severe.

There is also the conditioning that occurs whenever pleasure is associated with a particular event. While by all accounts it isn't as much fun getting it on professionally as some might think, there is undoubtedly a certain level of pleasure involved. After all, you can't have an orgasm without actually having an orgasm. And pleasurable sensations caused by a particular person will inevitably be associated with that person. If someone makes you feel good every time you see them, you are likely going to look forward to seeing them again - and that's emotion.

It is obviously possible to have sex without committing to a romantic relationship, but there is no way to take the emotion out of it. When people talk about separating sex from emotion, they mean separating sex from obligation. Whether or not that's possible is a question of ethics, not of facts.

Bones S05E06

To a nerdy, socially awkward woman with a handsome, dashing yet curiously shy man in her life, "Bones" has got to be the most romantic show ever written. To my delight, the latest episode was all about the feelings that Bones and Booth have for each other. In the interests of enlightening anyone who might happen to be reading this, allow me to illuminate some of the tingly-happy-warm-fuzzy-inducing elements.

"...when you're grumpy, your mood tends to elevate when you talk to me about it." Bones' astute observation really seems to get to the heart of what makes a good relationship. When you're upset, does talking to him/her make you feel better? If your answer is yes, keep that person close!

"You are at the end of a beautiful rainbow." Now, okay, I know he went on to mention the little green man and the gold, but just for those few seconds, he was telling her what a treasure she is. And while of course the traditional "what a beautiful view" will never get tired, I thought this was lovely and innovative, even if it was subconscious.

Bones notices which foot Booth leads with when he climbs stairs, and what ear he holds his phone to. That's not the kind of detail one notices about just anyone. The things Bones notices may be particular to her trade - focusing on handedness - but when someone plays a big part in your life, you're bound to notice something about them. Such as, perhaps, "The way you wear your hat/The way you sip your tea..." Anyway, it's always nice to find that someone (stalkers excepted) cares enough about you to notice the little things.

NCIS S07E07

I found this to be a largely disappointing episode, despite a few very good moments. I was intrigued, however, by the different notions of partnership.

If partnership is loosely defined as two people working together as equals, the range of pairs that the term covers is much greater than you'd expect. In a business or work context, "equals" are fairly easily identified. Perhaps they're two detectives who work together and share a car, or perhaps they're two lawyers who share a controlling interest in the firm. In personal life, "partner" is used almost exclusively to refer to a romantically significant other. But neither of these quite fits the relationship between Vance and his favourite assassin.

Love and hate are sometimes said to be two sides of the same coin - neither can exist without the other. I'm reminded of the way that two soldiers who fought on opposite sides of the same war can have a certain understanding that no civilian could ever achieve with either of them. Vance and Kai spent years fighting the same battle, even if it was against each other, and in a way they came to love each other. In fact, Kai's feelings for Vance were such that he was the only one she felt she could trust to end her life. As it turned out, his feelings for HER were such that he couldn't, despite her threats. It was Jackie Vance who took it upon herself to end the life of the woman who was, in a way, her husband's mistress.

I think the Vances might need some marriage counselling after this.

House S06E06

Wilson brought up something that drives us all to some extent - the desire for the approval of others. It doesn't matter how hard we work, how convinced we are that we're always right. Sometimes we just can't believe what we tell ourselves. Then a few words from the right person can seem to validate our entire existence.

The problem is that people rarely pay enough attention to each other to know when those words are needed. Compounding that problem is the human tendency to hide weakness. Wilson didn't even show House his paper. If House hadn't caught him reviewing it, Wilson might have stayed in the cold, dark state of misery that practicing euthanasia had driven him to.

Barring some timely nosiness from a friend, the best way to get the reassurance you need is by letting someone know that you need it. There is no shame in asking for support, and you might end up hearing exactly what you need.

NCIS S07E06

The Line of the Week came from Mike Franks' daughter-in-law: "Sometimes the most significant moments in your life happen without any choice at all."

We are shaped to an astounding degree by the things that happen to us. What's that old prayer? Serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference? Well, I don't believe in prayer, but I believe in people. Anyone can learn that serenity, courage and wisdom if they make the decision to try.

Things happen to us all the time, and some of our responses are automatic. There are both physical and emotional responses to stimuli that your average person simply can't control. But reaction doesn't stop after the first few milliseconds. There's always time to choose a further response that augments or counteracts the automatic stuff. Long live free will.

NCIS S07E05

In celebration of and preparation for tonight's new episode, I shall say a few words on this year's Hallowe'en episode - more specifically, on the topic of practical jokes.

Some people enjoy practical jokes. These are the people on whom it is acceptable to PLAY practical jokes. The only people.

These jokes are inherently cruel. They inflict suffering on the butt of the joke, whether that suffering is in the form of fear, injury, embarrassment, damage to property, or simply wasted time. If the victim doesn't appreciate the art of the practical joke, then there is never any excuse to subject him or her to this suffering.

If you want someone to "loosen up," get to know them. If you want some attention from that cute biped, try flowers. If you want vengeance... well, you might be better off seeing a therapist.

House S06E05

"Talking to her makes me feel better. You don't." Fair enough, Wilson, but the look on House's face when he heard that! No matter how cruel someone might seem, the vast majority of people want to be liked. House appeared to be genuinely hurt that Wilson would prefer to talk to his dead girlfriend than to Dr. Feelbad.

In the past, hearing of a rational adult speaking to a dead loved one has seemed odd to me. But watching Wilson in tonight's episode, I recalled when I, as a child, lost someone close to me. I spent a fair bit of time singing to him and writing poems for him. It was cathartic. So now, perhaps, I understand that for some, speaking to the deceased is simply part of the grieving process.

None of this helps House - with his newly acknowledged feelings, I think he really wants to support Wilson. He's having no luck in his attempts, though, since he has a long history of being less than helpful, and even now has a tendency to revert to sarcasm. Even when he tries to draw out Wilson on the subject of talking to the aforementioned dead girlfriend, it backfires as Wilson assumes House is intending some sort of cruelty. Only at the very end of the episode is there some kind of hope for House and Wilson's relationship as Wilson admits that House is getting better - but the person he admits it to is the dead girlfriend. Maybe let's try communication with the living, next time.

Bones S05E05

It would be quite difficult and repetitive to identify every single piece of information that you pass on to someone with an expectation of confidentiality. In fact, most people will assume private conversations are to remain private, unless otherwise stated. Unfortunately, now and again a secret slips out. Maybe it slips out because your confidante is deliberately gossiping about you. But maybe it slips out because your dear friend simply doesn't realize there's any reason to keep quiet. After all, surely you've told lots of people about the eyeball-meatloaf thing, right?

Bones really cares about Booth (simply the way she brings him up on a date suggests something) and she would never deliberately hurt him. Yet she shared something he had told her in confidence, and he was hurt as a result. Every time something like that happens, it makes the offendee less likely to share things in the future. It would be tragic if Booth found it harder to trust Bones over this, and indeed it seems unlikely that he'll hold it against her. But sometimes the information that slips out, the forwarded email or the casual mention, is more serious than eyeball-meatloaf. Friendships can be destroyed over misplaced words. Even worse - as they say, "loose lips sink ships." The consequences of idle gossip can be truly disastrous.

Something to keep in mind, then. Never share information about someone unless you're sure they won't mind. If you don't know them well enough to tell how they'd feel, then you don't know them well enough to tell their stories. Getting permission to tell an amusing anecdote may feel silly, but it's far better than hurting someone you care about.

NCIS S07E04

Gibbs claimed that what Ziva was getting was tough love, and Ducky shot back, "You do know there are other kinds?" So true. There's a bit of a movement, these days, focussed on "de-sissifying" people, most notably our children. (For the sake of argument, consider Ziva as Gibbs' daughter.) They claim that because the current trend of "sensitivity" in parenting has led to a generation of wussy kids with no sense of responsibility, no work ethic, no moral compass. Their solution seems to be, as Gibbs put it, "tough love." Nothing but.

I don't put a lot of stock in this idea, the idea that all kids need is stricter rules. I think the biggest parenting problems come from... well, ignorance, for one... and a lack of communication. This isn't always the parent's fault, of course. A child that's not willing to communicate isn't likely to be helped by any amount of lecturing. But I don't any amount of grounding, or spanking, or locking in a bedroom will help either.

Had Gibbs cultivated communication with Ziva throughout their relationship, it might have saved a lot of trouble when she returned to NCIS. It has taken four episodes for Ziva to talk about what happened between Israel and Somalia, and I was starting to feel like the plot was dragging a bit. But maybe that says something too. It shouldn't take that long to be able to talk to the people you care about. Communication needs to be practiced all the time or you get rusty. Hopefully the team at NCIS will have learned something from all this waiting and hiding, too.

House S06E04

A very brief observation on this week's episode. House and Wilson appear to have a relationship based on good-natured arguing and sarcasm. This seems to work out a little better for House, since Wilson gets frustrated much more quickly. Anyway, I've seen a few relationships like this, and they tend to get into trouble. Although there's nothing wrong with a rousing argument between two consenting adults, that can't be the only kind of exchange. The difficulty is that sarcasm is a barrier to effective communication. Nobody wants to share their feelings only to be teased about them, so the expectation of a sarcastic response will limit what someone is willing to say.

This expectation is making it difficult for the rehabilitated House to reconnect with the people in his life. They're all expecting the worst from him, so they can't reach out.

Bones S05E04

"Could Dad sex you up?" Possibly one of the best lines I've ever heard. This takes the use-a-kid-to-generate-interest technique to a whole new level.

Of more interest to me, however, was Arastoo letting his accent slip. What a commentary on the dominant view of religion among the scientific elite! For a lot of scientifically-minded people, it's difficult to justify belief in something that can't be empirically observed. It can be hard to admit to empiricists that one believes in something intangible, but if it's something you can't or don't want to keep secret, it may be tempting to create an image that is less worldly-wise, as Arastoo did. However, just as with any deception, it's difficult and draining to maintain indefinitely. Maybe it's worth taking the time and effort to explain yourself. This isn't just the case for religions, but also alternative medicines, and even the intricacies of human interaction. There are those who would dismiss absolutely everything we do as driven by evolutionary imperatives.

I enjoyed watching Bones butt heads with psychologists in this episode. Her complaints about the discipline - that it's vaguely defined and inexact, for example - are things I struggled with when I studied psychology in school. Psychology seems to be both too broad and too narrow. The various schools of thought in psychology each seem too narrowly defined to be taken seriously - as in the case of evolutionary psychology. However, if taken together as a whole, with each school of thought explaining certain areas of behaviour, a much greater understanding of human nature can be gained. At the other end of the spectrum, research psychologists view psychology as including disciplines such as cognitive science and psychiatry, yet as far as I can tell no cognitive scientist or psychiatrist would ever refer to his- or herself as a psychologist. Nevertheless, if defined more narrowly in this aspect, psychology is an immensely practical and helpful discipline. It is the only discipline truly concerned with the interaction of individuals - and the interaction of individuals makes up our whole lives.

NCIS S07E03

Not a lot to say about this episode. Ziva is still going through a phase of discovery and change, and said some interesting things.

In response to Ducky's prying, she wanted to know whether he was asking as a friend or as a forensic psychologist. And it's important to know what facet of a person you're talking to, since it determines how they will react to whatever you tell them. Do you want them to try and fix your problems, or do you want them just to listen? Be aware of how they are processing your words, and if you need them to listen a certain way, don't be afraid to express that. It's the only way to be absolutely sure you and your listener are on the same page.

Towards the very end of the episode, Gibbs asked Ziva what her father thought of her decision to resign. Ziva responded, quite rightly, "It does not matter." That's a difficult stance to take for many of us. As children, we rely on our parents to make important decisions for us. As adults, we have to learn to take responsibility for the important decisions ourselves, and our parents don't always make that easy for us. But easy or not, it's part of growing up. Ziva is becoming a more rounded character as she takes this step away from her father.

House S06E03

I'm going to leave the big Ethical Dilemma for now, and see what happens next week with the cover-up. Instead I'm going to mention two quotes that stood out to me as raising important concepts.

Firstly, House declares that "It's a process." Is it ever! These three words resonated very strongly with me. Mental illness isn't something that gets cured. Nor is treatment straightforward or easy. Taking a few pills can't turn you "normal" again. Because, in fact... it is a process. What you need one week may not be what you need the next week. Thank you for drawing attention to that fact, Dr. House!

The second quote that really caught my attention tonight was from Wilson to House: "It's easy to be nice to people you like. Being nice to people you hate? That's a skill." I'm sure the parallels are clear between House's spat with Wilson's neighbour and the qualms Chase and Cameron had about treating the evil dictator. Being nice to people you hate is a skill that's usually central to service professions. Chase and Cameron certainly have it. However, until now, House has lacked that skill. In fact, he even has difficulty being nice to people he loves. This general lack of "niceness" is what he's famous for, and despite all the personal and professional problems it has caused, it has helped him get a lot of things done.

Wilson's statement draws attention to the fact that, as a skill, being nice to people does not occur on its own but must be cultivated. However, it is not appropriate for every situation. Right now, House is trying to find the right balance between being nice and being honest. It's a difficult and ongoing struggle - it is, in fact, a process - but becoming aware of the struggle means that one can observe it and control it more effectively. One can begin to make informed decisions as to when "niceness" should take precedence over honesty and, of course, temper brutal honesty with niceness.

Bones S05E03

When do kids start having sex? Younger than ever, according to assorted polls. In any case, the real central question of tonight's sideplot seemed to be, "When should kids start having sex?"

Bones declared that she hadn't found someone who could give her a "satisfactory introduction" until she was 22, but the majority of the team seemed to have had their first times around the age of 16. Furthermore, the consensus seemed to be that kids shouldn't start having sex as early as their parents did.

One way to try and deal with undesirable behaviour in adolescents is the attempt to get children to learn from their elders. I let myself be coerced into having sex earlier than I wanted to, despite my mother urging me not to repeat her mistakes. Eight years later, I found myself giving the same lecture to my little sister, warning her against my OWN mistakes. Does that approach ever work? I doubt it. These lectures can even drive our loved ones away. And yet we continue to make these desperate pleas for our children to be cautious during a time of life characterised by startling physical changes and raging hormones.

Still, adolescents are perpetually engaging in behaviours that adults wish they wouldn't. It seems to be inevitable. Thus the origin of the Rumspringa; in the Amish faith, adolescents are granted some leeway while they make their way down the challenging path to adulthood. At the end of the Rumspringa, if one chooses to join the Amish faith, they are held to much stricter standards. As Bones pointed out in tonight's episode, the Amish faith has an 85% retention rate. Something to consider.

I think Cam settled on the right approach to teen sex when she told Michelle to wait "as long as you want to." As an intensely personal topic, the decision on when to have sex must also be personal.

NCIS S07E02

Poor Ziva!

She spent the entire episode apologising and hoping that she could be with the team again. She wasn't at her funniest or most scathing, but she was vulnerable and that was important. It can be extremely difficult for a strong person to submit to the judgment of another, but it's absolutely necessary to make yourself vulnerable that way in order to establish connections with the people you care about. The defining moment for me was when Gibbs said, "I know," and Ziva responded, "The point is, now I do too." What she really did throughout this episode was to say, "You knew better than I did. I was wrong."

It's a hell of a hard thing to do. But it's also incredibly important to validate the other people in your life this way. It's not enough just to change your mind - you have to be completely open and honest with someone, and tell them that you've come to understand their point of view.

Abby did that too, in the midst of railing at Ziva for not trusting Tony. Even though she was yelling at Ziva, she also admitted that maybe what Ziva had done was understandable, and therefore forgivable.

In the end, Ziva had to bare her soul to Gibbs in a desperate attempt to prove that she trusted him. That turned out to be what he needed in order to trust her again. The payoff for Ziva wasn't just getting her job back, it was getting a family. I think that's worth a little soul-baring.

House S06E02

Okay, so House wasn't completely "fixed" by his time on the ward, and he now has to find a way of coping with his physical pain that will keep him from turning back to Vicodin. Thus, despite the interesting question of whether or not self-diagnosis via the mechanism of web research is helpful, to me this episode was about outlets.

What's an outlet? For the purposes of this entry, any activity that allows us to channel negative thoughts and emotions in a direction that is creative rather than destructive. To be successful as an outlet, an activity must be ongoing, stimulating and satisfying.

One outlet, particularly prominent in this episode (though not discussed directly), is sex. As an act of physical release and of emotional connection, sex provides an excellent outlet. In conversation, the topic of sex can either increase or defuse tension. A blatant example of the first was Thirteen offering to tell "the story" about her roommate at Sarah Lawrence. The episode was rife with examples of the second - I only wish I had kept track of the number of "balls" jokes tonight.

The outlet suggested by Dr. Nolan is a hobby. House decides to join Wilson at his cooking class, and turns out to be a fabulous chef. The reason for his success at cooking, unfortunately, is the same reason that he ultimately finds cooking unfulfilling. He understands the chemistry of it, so he can figure out what ingredients will contribute to the appropriate balance of bitterness, salt, sweetness, sourness and savoriness, the right amount of piquancy and astringency. Looking at cooking that way, there is no challenge in it for him, and his attention returns to the pain in his leg.

The outlet that House really needs is one which fully engages his mind, challenges him. He finds this towards the end of the episode in (surprise, surprise) a return to diagnostic medicine. He loves solving those endlessly variant puzzles, and it's just possible that he loves helping people too.

Bones S05E02

Great advice from Sweets tonight: be the student! Learning from someone can be a great way to strengthen your relationship with them. Quite aside from the benefits of gaining new information or a new skill, being a student for someone sends a number of valuable messages. It says that you value their knowledge, trust their judgment, share their interests. There is also an element of power in the role of teacher; submitting to another's authority also indicates that you trust them.

These signs are all doubly valuable in a relationship like the one between Bones and Booth. Particularly bright and talented people sometimes avoid anything they aren't good at, attempting to preserve an illusion that they are good at everything. Learning something new inevitably involves uncertainty and even the occasional failure, and failure can be terrifying when you're used to success. Letting someone else see you fail may seem scary, like exposing a crack in your armor. But imperfections are humanizing, and draw people together. If you don't admit to needing support in some area, nobody will ever be able to provide it.

NCIS S07E01

Through most of tonight's season premiere, I was afraid I'd end up with nothing to talk about. Towards the end, however, I was hit with an astounding realisation. Tony Di Nozzo is a prime example of my philosophy of fiction. All of his interpersonal relationships are informed by movies - and he has seen oh-so-many movies.

The case which caught my attention here was the comparison Tony drew between his position (as a prisoner, bound and dosed with truth serum) and the movie True Lies. It was a fairly typical Tony-style movie reference. The details didn't fit exactly, but certain important elements were there, enough to provide a way for him to view the situation (and, in this case, a way to distract his captor for those last few seconds Gibbs needed).

There was another philosophically interesting moment for me tonight. When Ziva was brought in, I was expecting to see a variation on the prisoner's dilemma. Of course, the variation I was expecting was a situation wherein the two prisoners were in love. The twist we actually got led to a much happier ending, and an ending that probably won't result in a disastrous loss of viewers.

It's clear from both these examples that the fictions we apply to reality are most useful if we don't use the entire story. Bits and pieces are the most revealing.

House S06E01

Well, the season premiere of House felt more like a series finale. I'm very curious to see what direction they take next week. Nevertheless, there were a couple of thought-provoking themes in the two-hour special.

The first thing to catch my attention was the array of odd characters on the ward. Throughout the majority of this episode, House acts as the audience's eyes, and when he enters long-term care it is immediately apparent that he's the Normal One. I think many people experience this feeling when they join any group tacetly designated as "different." It doesn't matter if I'm different too - I'm not NEARLY as odd as THOSE people. This is an understandable tendency. Any person's conception of "normal" is necessarily focused on his or her own identity.

And yet, understandable or not, labeling yourself as the Normal One can have disastrous consequences. It might make you look at a group of the "different" - perhaps doctors, celebrities, the wealthy - as superior, making you doubt your own worth. More often, though, it will make you look at a group of the "different" - the mentally ill, the poor, Trekkies - with pity. Pity is nothing but thinly-veiled condescension.

Dr. House is known for his condescending attitude, but on the ward he gets a painful lesson in the value of the "different," in this case different medical disciplines, when his disregard for psychiatry has some disastrous consequences. This brings me to my second topic: Freedom Master.

House, in his desire to lash out against the establishment, tried to take Steve (also called Freedom Master) out of his depression by convincing him that he WAS, in fact, gifted with superpowers. It worked. The deliriously happy Steve leapt out of the parking garage and ended up in hospital.

The point to note here is that the pursuit of happiness is not always congruent with the pursuit of a happy life. One brief happy moment may not be worth all the pain that follows, and no, nobody can do everything. We may not be able to accurately foresee the long-term consequences of our actions... but it's worth taking a guess. Part of being Homo sapiens sapiens, right?

Bones S05E01

It's funny, sometimes, what elements of a story have the greatest impact on us. For me, the single most poignant action in the entire hour of the Bones season premiere, was Booth kissing Brennan on the top of the head.

Nothing says "I will protect you" quite like a kiss right on the top of the head. I don't know where the feeling of security comes from... maybe it's because the body thinks, "Way up there? That must be someone big," and so we're willing to let ourselves be taken care of. Maybe something special is communicated through the crown chakra. Maybe it's something about all those blood vessels the scalp has. Whatever the reason, I find it immensely reassuring to be kissed there, and I know I'm not the only one.

Kissing someone on the top of the head can be a simple but powerful way of expressing that you care for the person. Make sure you know how someone will react before you go kissing them, of course. Taken the wrong way, it might be viewed as either condescending or simply icky.

A Project of Questionable Value

When I was in grade 6, my teacher accused me of reading too much. Back then I sometimes heard people refer to my habit as "escapism." Maybe I didn't like my environment at the time, but I hold that I've gained far more from reading than anyone ever gave me credit for.

Fantasy and science fiction are often derided as nothing more than unicorns and spaceships that take the reader far away to a land that's easier to deal with. If that was the case, the connotations of the term "escapism" would be richly deserved. But what if those unicorns are vicious, and those spaceships crash?

Novels, movies, comic books, they're all full of problems. Even if they aren't problems that could possibly occur in the real world, they are real problems because of the most important element of any story worth telling... the characters.

Read ten books and you'll meet a hundred new people. If the books are written well, you'll care about those people. They will seem real to you. And that's not a delusion, it's a tool. Watching how the characters interact will always tell you something about how people work because every character, no matter how outlandish, originally sprang from the mind of a real person. The more characters you meet, the more you'll have to hold up to a new acquaintance when you wonder how he or she will behave. I think for every individual there is a character somewhere to identify with. It will never be exact, but it's a way of seeing. A way of understanding.

As the current television season starts, I find I'm drawn to more and more shows. Character-driven shows. My intention is to blog about the points in each that stand out to me as real for one reason or another. Maybe someone else, somewhere, will start looking at fiction as a lens, too. Maybe, just maybe, it'll help them understand someone else a little better.