NCIS S07E05

In celebration of and preparation for tonight's new episode, I shall say a few words on this year's Hallowe'en episode - more specifically, on the topic of practical jokes.

Some people enjoy practical jokes. These are the people on whom it is acceptable to PLAY practical jokes. The only people.

These jokes are inherently cruel. They inflict suffering on the butt of the joke, whether that suffering is in the form of fear, injury, embarrassment, damage to property, or simply wasted time. If the victim doesn't appreciate the art of the practical joke, then there is never any excuse to subject him or her to this suffering.

If you want someone to "loosen up," get to know them. If you want some attention from that cute biped, try flowers. If you want vengeance... well, you might be better off seeing a therapist.

House S06E05

"Talking to her makes me feel better. You don't." Fair enough, Wilson, but the look on House's face when he heard that! No matter how cruel someone might seem, the vast majority of people want to be liked. House appeared to be genuinely hurt that Wilson would prefer to talk to his dead girlfriend than to Dr. Feelbad.

In the past, hearing of a rational adult speaking to a dead loved one has seemed odd to me. But watching Wilson in tonight's episode, I recalled when I, as a child, lost someone close to me. I spent a fair bit of time singing to him and writing poems for him. It was cathartic. So now, perhaps, I understand that for some, speaking to the deceased is simply part of the grieving process.

None of this helps House - with his newly acknowledged feelings, I think he really wants to support Wilson. He's having no luck in his attempts, though, since he has a long history of being less than helpful, and even now has a tendency to revert to sarcasm. Even when he tries to draw out Wilson on the subject of talking to the aforementioned dead girlfriend, it backfires as Wilson assumes House is intending some sort of cruelty. Only at the very end of the episode is there some kind of hope for House and Wilson's relationship as Wilson admits that House is getting better - but the person he admits it to is the dead girlfriend. Maybe let's try communication with the living, next time.

Bones S05E05

It would be quite difficult and repetitive to identify every single piece of information that you pass on to someone with an expectation of confidentiality. In fact, most people will assume private conversations are to remain private, unless otherwise stated. Unfortunately, now and again a secret slips out. Maybe it slips out because your confidante is deliberately gossiping about you. But maybe it slips out because your dear friend simply doesn't realize there's any reason to keep quiet. After all, surely you've told lots of people about the eyeball-meatloaf thing, right?

Bones really cares about Booth (simply the way she brings him up on a date suggests something) and she would never deliberately hurt him. Yet she shared something he had told her in confidence, and he was hurt as a result. Every time something like that happens, it makes the offendee less likely to share things in the future. It would be tragic if Booth found it harder to trust Bones over this, and indeed it seems unlikely that he'll hold it against her. But sometimes the information that slips out, the forwarded email or the casual mention, is more serious than eyeball-meatloaf. Friendships can be destroyed over misplaced words. Even worse - as they say, "loose lips sink ships." The consequences of idle gossip can be truly disastrous.

Something to keep in mind, then. Never share information about someone unless you're sure they won't mind. If you don't know them well enough to tell how they'd feel, then you don't know them well enough to tell their stories. Getting permission to tell an amusing anecdote may feel silly, but it's far better than hurting someone you care about.

NCIS S07E04

Gibbs claimed that what Ziva was getting was tough love, and Ducky shot back, "You do know there are other kinds?" So true. There's a bit of a movement, these days, focussed on "de-sissifying" people, most notably our children. (For the sake of argument, consider Ziva as Gibbs' daughter.) They claim that because the current trend of "sensitivity" in parenting has led to a generation of wussy kids with no sense of responsibility, no work ethic, no moral compass. Their solution seems to be, as Gibbs put it, "tough love." Nothing but.

I don't put a lot of stock in this idea, the idea that all kids need is stricter rules. I think the biggest parenting problems come from... well, ignorance, for one... and a lack of communication. This isn't always the parent's fault, of course. A child that's not willing to communicate isn't likely to be helped by any amount of lecturing. But I don't any amount of grounding, or spanking, or locking in a bedroom will help either.

Had Gibbs cultivated communication with Ziva throughout their relationship, it might have saved a lot of trouble when she returned to NCIS. It has taken four episodes for Ziva to talk about what happened between Israel and Somalia, and I was starting to feel like the plot was dragging a bit. But maybe that says something too. It shouldn't take that long to be able to talk to the people you care about. Communication needs to be practiced all the time or you get rusty. Hopefully the team at NCIS will have learned something from all this waiting and hiding, too.

House S06E04

A very brief observation on this week's episode. House and Wilson appear to have a relationship based on good-natured arguing and sarcasm. This seems to work out a little better for House, since Wilson gets frustrated much more quickly. Anyway, I've seen a few relationships like this, and they tend to get into trouble. Although there's nothing wrong with a rousing argument between two consenting adults, that can't be the only kind of exchange. The difficulty is that sarcasm is a barrier to effective communication. Nobody wants to share their feelings only to be teased about them, so the expectation of a sarcastic response will limit what someone is willing to say.

This expectation is making it difficult for the rehabilitated House to reconnect with the people in his life. They're all expecting the worst from him, so they can't reach out.

Bones S05E04

"Could Dad sex you up?" Possibly one of the best lines I've ever heard. This takes the use-a-kid-to-generate-interest technique to a whole new level.

Of more interest to me, however, was Arastoo letting his accent slip. What a commentary on the dominant view of religion among the scientific elite! For a lot of scientifically-minded people, it's difficult to justify belief in something that can't be empirically observed. It can be hard to admit to empiricists that one believes in something intangible, but if it's something you can't or don't want to keep secret, it may be tempting to create an image that is less worldly-wise, as Arastoo did. However, just as with any deception, it's difficult and draining to maintain indefinitely. Maybe it's worth taking the time and effort to explain yourself. This isn't just the case for religions, but also alternative medicines, and even the intricacies of human interaction. There are those who would dismiss absolutely everything we do as driven by evolutionary imperatives.

I enjoyed watching Bones butt heads with psychologists in this episode. Her complaints about the discipline - that it's vaguely defined and inexact, for example - are things I struggled with when I studied psychology in school. Psychology seems to be both too broad and too narrow. The various schools of thought in psychology each seem too narrowly defined to be taken seriously - as in the case of evolutionary psychology. However, if taken together as a whole, with each school of thought explaining certain areas of behaviour, a much greater understanding of human nature can be gained. At the other end of the spectrum, research psychologists view psychology as including disciplines such as cognitive science and psychiatry, yet as far as I can tell no cognitive scientist or psychiatrist would ever refer to his- or herself as a psychologist. Nevertheless, if defined more narrowly in this aspect, psychology is an immensely practical and helpful discipline. It is the only discipline truly concerned with the interaction of individuals - and the interaction of individuals makes up our whole lives.

NCIS S07E03

Not a lot to say about this episode. Ziva is still going through a phase of discovery and change, and said some interesting things.

In response to Ducky's prying, she wanted to know whether he was asking as a friend or as a forensic psychologist. And it's important to know what facet of a person you're talking to, since it determines how they will react to whatever you tell them. Do you want them to try and fix your problems, or do you want them just to listen? Be aware of how they are processing your words, and if you need them to listen a certain way, don't be afraid to express that. It's the only way to be absolutely sure you and your listener are on the same page.

Towards the very end of the episode, Gibbs asked Ziva what her father thought of her decision to resign. Ziva responded, quite rightly, "It does not matter." That's a difficult stance to take for many of us. As children, we rely on our parents to make important decisions for us. As adults, we have to learn to take responsibility for the important decisions ourselves, and our parents don't always make that easy for us. But easy or not, it's part of growing up. Ziva is becoming a more rounded character as she takes this step away from her father.

House S06E03

I'm going to leave the big Ethical Dilemma for now, and see what happens next week with the cover-up. Instead I'm going to mention two quotes that stood out to me as raising important concepts.

Firstly, House declares that "It's a process." Is it ever! These three words resonated very strongly with me. Mental illness isn't something that gets cured. Nor is treatment straightforward or easy. Taking a few pills can't turn you "normal" again. Because, in fact... it is a process. What you need one week may not be what you need the next week. Thank you for drawing attention to that fact, Dr. House!

The second quote that really caught my attention tonight was from Wilson to House: "It's easy to be nice to people you like. Being nice to people you hate? That's a skill." I'm sure the parallels are clear between House's spat with Wilson's neighbour and the qualms Chase and Cameron had about treating the evil dictator. Being nice to people you hate is a skill that's usually central to service professions. Chase and Cameron certainly have it. However, until now, House has lacked that skill. In fact, he even has difficulty being nice to people he loves. This general lack of "niceness" is what he's famous for, and despite all the personal and professional problems it has caused, it has helped him get a lot of things done.

Wilson's statement draws attention to the fact that, as a skill, being nice to people does not occur on its own but must be cultivated. However, it is not appropriate for every situation. Right now, House is trying to find the right balance between being nice and being honest. It's a difficult and ongoing struggle - it is, in fact, a process - but becoming aware of the struggle means that one can observe it and control it more effectively. One can begin to make informed decisions as to when "niceness" should take precedence over honesty and, of course, temper brutal honesty with niceness.