House S06E09

This episode dealt with the issue of doctors treating friends, clearly demonstrating why it doesn't usually happen. It's impossible to be appropriately objective about anyone you have a personal relationship. Furthermore, even if you can identify problems accurately, it can be difficult and even painful (even more than usual) to deliver bad news. There is even the possibility of a friend asking you to break rules or laws for them, leaving you in a very awkward position (Vicodin, anyone?).

Although the consequences of doctors mixing the personal and professional can clearly be devastating, the same idea applies, to some degree, to any position of authority. It can be difficult to teach a family member a new skill, for example, for fear that corrections to technique will be taken as personal criticisms. Similarly, being a friend's boss can put a strain on the friendship. Performance reviews, the use of sick days... sometimes it's easier not to know all the details of a co-worker's life.

In any case, Wilson's refusal to believe cancer was the cause of his friend's new symptoms shows that sometimes a little distance is necessary to see things clearly and do what has to be done.

NCIS S07E09

Poor Ducky took me right back to the subject of last week's Bones when he said of his mother that, "She barely recognizes me when I visit." It hurts terribly when that happens. It can be particularly difficult to have lost or be losing a loved one when a holiday rolls around, because holidays are built on tradition and memories, just the things to make you miss him or her more. And so Ducky is desperate to fill up his Thanksgiving with the other people in his life, to create new traditions that might help ease the pain of old traditions fading.

This idea of actively creating new traditions to cope with the loss of old ones is new to me and somewhat overwhelming, but I hope it will prove useful and worthwhile this holiday season.

House S06E08

Throughout history, intelligence has arguably been one of the most divisive traits humans exhibit. On a gross scale, you have highly intelligent people looking down on less intelligent people for failing to think critically and acting like sheep, while less intelligent people look down on highly intelligent people for causing trouble and acting superior. I must say, though, the less intelligent seem to have the advantage of numbers. And it isn't just the two extremes battling it out. In the metaphorical locker rooms of schools for the "gifted," the numbers being jealously compared are not inches, they're IQ points and grade scores. It's especially lonely at the top, where the socially awkward don't often manage to stand in solidarity.

It's no wonder, then, that the genius in this episode of House liked living without the pressures of intelligence. As House explained to the man's wife, "He's smart compared to you. He's a moron compared to what he was." This couple managed to make it work despite a significant intelligence gap, but only so long as that gap was artificially minimized by the young physicist's drug use.

It can be incredibly difficult for people at opposite ends of the intelligence spectrum to get along. Brains that function so differently can't always communicate with each other. People with high IQs often find it frustrating to slow their thought processes enough to be understood, and may leave out important information because they assume it's obvious. People with low IQs, on the other hand, can get understandably upset by the rude treatment they sometimes receive if they don't immediately grasp what they're being told.

The only reasonable solution, as things stand, is for everyone to learn to be a little more patient.

Bones S05E07

I don't feel up to tackling the really big problem - the pain when someone who used to look after you needs you to look after them - from tonight's episode, but that's okay, because I think the episode itself handled that beautifully. There are a couple of lesser things worth noting, though.

Nicknames. It may seem trivial, but what someone is called, and the motivation behind the tag, can have a significant impact on the way someone feels. Nicknames can spark a feeling of warmth, comfort, and perhaps nostalgia as well if they're old nicknames. Perhaps it's something a parent called you when you were a child and they were playing with you. Hearing the nickname used can bring happy memories flooding back. It works the other way, too, though. If someone calls you by a nickname that the school bully used, you may feel fear or nausea. Whether good or bad, the way you're addressed can have a strong impact on your mood.

The other thing that struck me in this episode was a quote from Booth's grandfather: "He's big and strong, but he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone." I thought this was beautiful. It doesn't matter if someone's strong and can look after him or herself, they still need support. Everyone does. That means it's not a weakness to ask for help, or to want to be held. Everyone does.

NCIS S07E08

The real baddie in this episode was a power outage. And while it was entertaining (as it was supposed to be) to watch the team flail helplessly when they first found themselves... well... powerless... it also left me wondering (again, no doubt, as it was supposed to), why on earth are we so dependent on electricity? Power outages are not uncommon, and they can be absolutely devastating when they happen. So why are we, in the developed world, not better equipped to cope with them?

Unfortunately, that is a question I have no good answer for, but it does bear thinking about.

There was one other thing worth mentioning, a Gibbs-ism that put me in quite the reflective state. "She had a choice. That's what makes her a hero." Incredibly poignant, quite true, and again... it bears thinking about. Making the difficult decision can definitely make you a hero. Maybe in the eyes of one person, or maybe in the eyes of the world - the point is that choosing to protect the vulnerable, the choiceless, is what makes a hero.

House S06E07

Tonight's episode of House conveniently gave me the opportunity to rant on one of my favourite rant-topics.

"Sex is mechanical. Emotion is emotional."

Now, let me say first that I have no problems with porn stars, escorts, fetish models, or any other sex workers. There is a market for what they do, and believe it or not many of them are doing sex work because they want to, not because they're addicts, slaves, or otherwise victims. The people who are forced into sex work represent an entirely separate issue, and right now I'm just talking about those in the industry voluntarily. With that out of the way, let me address the claim that sex work (in this case porn) involves divorcing sex from emotion. In short, I do not believe that is possible.

Emotion is driven by physical triggers. To start with, there is sheer physical proximity. Most people have some notion of "personal space," and would prefer not be touched by someone they're not comfortable with. In fact, most of us don't even want to be near somebody we don't like. Sexual congress is thus, to the reasonable person, an emotionally intimate activity because it is so very physically intimate. This isn't to say one has to be in love (however you define that) with a person you have sex with, but if you dislike them, the psychological repercussions can be severe.

There is also the conditioning that occurs whenever pleasure is associated with a particular event. While by all accounts it isn't as much fun getting it on professionally as some might think, there is undoubtedly a certain level of pleasure involved. After all, you can't have an orgasm without actually having an orgasm. And pleasurable sensations caused by a particular person will inevitably be associated with that person. If someone makes you feel good every time you see them, you are likely going to look forward to seeing them again - and that's emotion.

It is obviously possible to have sex without committing to a romantic relationship, but there is no way to take the emotion out of it. When people talk about separating sex from emotion, they mean separating sex from obligation. Whether or not that's possible is a question of ethics, not of facts.

Bones S05E06

To a nerdy, socially awkward woman with a handsome, dashing yet curiously shy man in her life, "Bones" has got to be the most romantic show ever written. To my delight, the latest episode was all about the feelings that Bones and Booth have for each other. In the interests of enlightening anyone who might happen to be reading this, allow me to illuminate some of the tingly-happy-warm-fuzzy-inducing elements.

"...when you're grumpy, your mood tends to elevate when you talk to me about it." Bones' astute observation really seems to get to the heart of what makes a good relationship. When you're upset, does talking to him/her make you feel better? If your answer is yes, keep that person close!

"You are at the end of a beautiful rainbow." Now, okay, I know he went on to mention the little green man and the gold, but just for those few seconds, he was telling her what a treasure she is. And while of course the traditional "what a beautiful view" will never get tired, I thought this was lovely and innovative, even if it was subconscious.

Bones notices which foot Booth leads with when he climbs stairs, and what ear he holds his phone to. That's not the kind of detail one notices about just anyone. The things Bones notices may be particular to her trade - focusing on handedness - but when someone plays a big part in your life, you're bound to notice something about them. Such as, perhaps, "The way you wear your hat/The way you sip your tea..." Anyway, it's always nice to find that someone (stalkers excepted) cares enough about you to notice the little things.

NCIS S07E07

I found this to be a largely disappointing episode, despite a few very good moments. I was intrigued, however, by the different notions of partnership.

If partnership is loosely defined as two people working together as equals, the range of pairs that the term covers is much greater than you'd expect. In a business or work context, "equals" are fairly easily identified. Perhaps they're two detectives who work together and share a car, or perhaps they're two lawyers who share a controlling interest in the firm. In personal life, "partner" is used almost exclusively to refer to a romantically significant other. But neither of these quite fits the relationship between Vance and his favourite assassin.

Love and hate are sometimes said to be two sides of the same coin - neither can exist without the other. I'm reminded of the way that two soldiers who fought on opposite sides of the same war can have a certain understanding that no civilian could ever achieve with either of them. Vance and Kai spent years fighting the same battle, even if it was against each other, and in a way they came to love each other. In fact, Kai's feelings for Vance were such that he was the only one she felt she could trust to end her life. As it turned out, his feelings for HER were such that he couldn't, despite her threats. It was Jackie Vance who took it upon herself to end the life of the woman who was, in a way, her husband's mistress.

I think the Vances might need some marriage counselling after this.

House S06E06

Wilson brought up something that drives us all to some extent - the desire for the approval of others. It doesn't matter how hard we work, how convinced we are that we're always right. Sometimes we just can't believe what we tell ourselves. Then a few words from the right person can seem to validate our entire existence.

The problem is that people rarely pay enough attention to each other to know when those words are needed. Compounding that problem is the human tendency to hide weakness. Wilson didn't even show House his paper. If House hadn't caught him reviewing it, Wilson might have stayed in the cold, dark state of misery that practicing euthanasia had driven him to.

Barring some timely nosiness from a friend, the best way to get the reassurance you need is by letting someone know that you need it. There is no shame in asking for support, and you might end up hearing exactly what you need.

NCIS S07E06

The Line of the Week came from Mike Franks' daughter-in-law: "Sometimes the most significant moments in your life happen without any choice at all."

We are shaped to an astounding degree by the things that happen to us. What's that old prayer? Serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference? Well, I don't believe in prayer, but I believe in people. Anyone can learn that serenity, courage and wisdom if they make the decision to try.

Things happen to us all the time, and some of our responses are automatic. There are both physical and emotional responses to stimuli that your average person simply can't control. But reaction doesn't stop after the first few milliseconds. There's always time to choose a further response that augments or counteracts the automatic stuff. Long live free will.